


Raffine Uncleans Clock!

by kirbymanx



Category: Puyo Puyo (Video Games)
Genre: Character Turned Into a Ghost, Corruption, Egotistic Protagonist, Female Protagonist, Ghost Hunters, Halloween, Haunted Houses, Jerk Protagonist, Luigi's Mansion Pseudo Parody, POV First Person, Power Fantasy, Resurrection, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-11 00:55:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16465610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirbymanx/pseuds/kirbymanx
Summary: Raffina’s Mansion is haunted because of reasons she does not care for. She’s the only who can unclean the ghost’s clocks and reclaim her home.*To rereaders: Skip to a few paragraphs above the all bold sentence.*





	Raffine Uncleans Clock!

**Raffine Uncleans Clock!  
by kirbymanx**

Hello, I am Raffina. The most beautiful magic school student in Primp Town. I can’t cast magic on my own. I… Sadly need assistance… My pouch, that’s always to the side of my hip is what allows me to cast my spells… Even then, it’s converted from my martial arts energy. At which I excel at. Ohohoho~ Not to brag.

Anyways, I’ll be the most beautiful sorceress regardless of my handicap~

I’m at my mansion with people I don’t care for in the ballroom for the Halloween party. I wanna kick them out, but I can’t do anything about it… A friend of my Daddy is the party organizer. But her, daddy, the butler, and maid aren’t gonna be here.

I’m wasting my time near the punch bowl. Keeping a sharp open to see if no one sneaks off somewhere. And I’m not gonna be responsible for them running amok… The house is a big place littered with expensive things. Daddy’s stuff is off limits and so is my stuff. One of them could steal my jewelry or my clothes, I don’t want them to be touched by these plebs…

Just look at these space invaders.

Arle raids dungeons for fun. My jewelry wouldn’t be safe from her. As long her rabbit…ish pet Carbuncle keeps close she should be happy. As long as Carbuncle doesn’t run off. I’ve seen that cutie run away on its own from time to time.

_Ugh, Klug…_ He’s my rival in class. In anything but Gym. He’s insufferable, he just doesn’t stop talking about how smart he is… I wanna hate him more than I do. But for some reason, my hate only goes as far as to the sun. Which is how far I wanna throw him sometimes, incidentally. Who knows what he’s planning?

He’s talking to Ringo, she’s the smart one from her class in her dimension. Yeah, I know. But to be fair to her, her world’s amazing. If I could I’d gladly go on vacation. The advancements they must’ve made in beauty and cosmetics Oh, La-Ti-Da!

Eh, anyway, she’s alright, I guess. Dresses nicely, enough, I don’t see her stealing anything. But you never know.

Next to her was her boyfriend. Maguro. Same deal, except not as smart. He’s goofy and handsome. Both of them are limited in magic.

There’s a dragon lady here, she ha horns and a tail. Who invited her? Actually, I could see us being friends. She likes kung-fu and never stops talking about being pretty… She never stops about it, she’s really annoying…

There’s a witch. “Hey, you!” I called out to her. No potion brewing in my mansion! No telling what she will do. Her potions turned me in a toenail collector for a while. Believe when I say that context behind is even more disgusting… I did get a beauty potion out of her. My eyelashes grew a bit from it. I am okay with that.

Lemres is a teacher from out of town, a comet warlock. He’s also a sweets-obsessed freak. Shares his sticky sweets with friends are strangers alike. He is always willing to lend a hand. I never miss an opportunity to pass that up. Ohohoho. Besides the backfiring tendency… The worst he would do is raid my kitchen.

The shorty next him, Feli, is Lemres’ dependent, I’m sure. She must be the way she clings to him. She’s into the occult and creeps everyone. She supposed hexes people and summons demons. Though the only demon she’s summoned is Baldanders, her giant dog loyal guard dog. He towers over everyone here. Keeping an eye on them is a priority as soon as she’s without Lemres keeping her in check.

My favorite tailor is here, Oshare Bones, he’s simply too good for this world. He knows exactly what I find fashionable. He’s alright if anyone deserves to live on as a skeleton and look not half bad doing it, it’s him. I am being very literal, he is a skeleton. Was that always his name?

The ghost twins are here. Yu & Rei. Amnesiacs. They like fun and dumb quizzes. They aren’t fun. Hmm, perhaps I should persuade them for a Quiz to make sure everyone stays still… But would mean keeping my eye off of them.

Lidelle’s surprisingly here. She is some kind of imp. Likes nature and is very fragile. I fully expected her to stay in bed this night. I’m not comforting her if she starts crying.

Sig with the strong red arm. He’s alright too, besides being on his own planet all the time and his love of bugs. But I wouldn’t put it past him if slept walked around in the halls, considering he worked out his left arm but not his right.

And then there’s Amitie. I do my best to be patient with this girl, but she makes it so hard. Today is one where I can’t tolerate her. Oh, no… Here she comes…

“Hiya, Raffine!” Her voice was loud today. I kept leaning against the wall, giving her a glare while sloshing my drink in my favorite champagne glass. (It’s punch, I’m underage by a few years. Not that that would stop me.) “I like your nurse outfit.” She gave a smile. I did not feel like showing off this time. “But, why is it unbuttoned?”

I puffed out air out the side of my mouth. “Same reason I added black tights to this costume.”

“Why’s that?”

How thick are you? Can’t you figure out anything, you mentally defective ditz? “I am going for sexy.” I am very refined. “Something you wouldn’t be able to pull off, dear.” The sides of my lip curl up, as I took a sip of punch and kept watching the room. Everyone was still accounted for.

Amitie put her finger inquisitively on her lips. “Uh. Aren’t you a bit too young for that?”

“I look old enough and that’s all that matters.” I took a sip.

“Oh, I see. Can you help me look sexy when I look old enough? I wanna try it.” Hm… Not sure how to respond to that. I’m looking her over.

“Give it a year or two.” I replied a bit jovial. “And we’ll see if I can make it work.”

“Okie-dokie!” Who says that anymore? Ugh. She’s hugging me.

“Let. Me. Go!” I broke out. Spilling some punch on the floor doing so. I’m not cleaning that up, I’m blaming Klug.

“Thanks, Raffie!” She left. But not my house. I could I would kick them all out.

“YU!” I yelled at the ghosts. “No leaving the ballroom!”

“Aw c’mon. I left a spükprise in the hallway I wanna share with every _body!”_ Her mute brother nodded. Everyone puts more trust into him more than his sister. She is dangerously mischievous.

I’m going with them. In case they do some funny stuff. I helped carry it to the middle of the room. Judging by everyone looking at me, nobody left the room.

“What is that urn, Raffine?”

“Don’t ask me. It’s not mine this is the of the ghosts.” I pointed.

“We don’t know what this is either. But a nice ghost gave it to us when we were lonely. He gave us this and said sharing is caring!” The girl ghost explained as she and her brother tried to uncork it.

The room got curious and helped uncorking. Talking about what could be in it a stranger’s jar. I resumed standing my place by the punch bowl watch these fools pull a muscle. I could help, but a lady like me if I don’t want to do, I won’t. Unless you ask nicely, then I’ll consider it. FOR HELL’S SAKE, can they leave now? I wanna dart for the training room to work on my cardio! But instead, I’m practically babysitting!

Suddenly I heard a deep sounding pop from the jar, some of them fell on their butts. I felt a strong gust wind come over me as the room was flooded with an evil looking mist. Frankly, I’m a bit intimidated, don’t tell. It’s ladylike to hide behind someone in this instance. But that’s not my style. “You damn idiots! What have you done!?” I yelled at everyone here.

The whole room screamed as we witnessed this black gigantic hand come from the jar! It’s hard to see in the darkness, but that’s what it seemed to be! “Gh-Gh-Gh-Ghost hand!” Thanks for that info, Ringo.

Before I could blink it went through Amitie, Sig, Feli, Feli’s dog Lemres. Call me crazy but for those split seconds I saw two of their bodies. How would tha-- “EEK!” I screamed as it went through me! I got battle ready and all!

B-But all I felt was wind. I shivered, I felt it on the inside of my body. I watched on as it snatched it went through the rest. OH! It’s separating their ghosts from their bodies. Said bodies collapsed like their muscles shut down. Only me and Maguro were left standing. Why?

The ghost hand held the all the ghosts in its palm. And slowly descended into the jar. The ghosts were screaming for help.

I am scared. All of this must’ve happened within 15 seconds. _“What the Hell!!!”_ I screamed. Maguro had a gasp.

“That’s probably where they’re going! Raffine!” I turned my head. “You’re pretty strong, right? ★” I simply nodded, I am in no position to gloat at the moment. “Let’s give breaking the jar a shot! Help me push it.”

“I can do one better!” I pulled the cloth off the table and everything on it, l lifted the table and walked up the giant jar and smashed it with the table with an overhead. The thing exploded with what I think is corrupted magic. Not like I can feel it, just the pushback. I slid to the wall, hitting my head. I’m feeling hazy, is that everyone's ghost in panic going through the wall…

I when I woke up I was in the Museum. “She’s awake, that’s at least one of them. ★” Maguro forced a joke.

“What’s going on?” I asked straight to the point.

“Your mansion is haunted Raffine.” I know that voice. That’s the museum curator, Mr. Akum--

“I beg your pardon?” Did I hear that right?

Akuma flapped his lips. Figuratively, he’s a possessed plushey. “Judging from that description given to me by Maguro the ghosts of your friends are corrup--”

“Get to the important part!” I caught the purple haired pretty face and the plush sophisticate off guard. “How do I get these ghosts back into their bodies and kick them out of my home!”

“I MODIFIED YOUR POUCH SO YOU CAN TOUCH GHOSTS BY COURSING ITS MAGIC THROUGH YOU. KUMAMAMA!” He shouts sometimes. “YOU CAN HOLD THE CORRUPTED SOULS IN YOUR POUCH AS WELL AND YOU CAN REUNITE THE SPIRIT, WHICH SHOULD PURIFY THEM AS WELL, KUMAMAMAMAMAMAMA!”

“Is that all?” I asked, testing this magic. Feels tingly in a good way.

“Yes.” Akuma said calm again.

“I’m off, then.” I left those two behind. I jogged in high heels in the cold and nurse outfit back home.

My mansion certainly looks haunted, all the lights are off, but I saw several glows through the windows. “Ghosts…” I’m not scared of them. Aside from my worry about my stuff, I’m scared at Daddy’s reaction.

He will so be displeased! Who knows what he will do to punish me? (If he’ll punish me. I don’t wanna test it.) Cut my allowance? Or just as worse, the staff will force me to share their work? I’d rather die myself.

Buuuuuut… I do get to personally get to kick them all out. If someone saw the giant smirk I have on my face. Oh, La-Ti-Da~

Maguro left the gate open. And the front door.

**I kicked the door open! And I’m ready to hunt some ghosts!**

The foyer is a mess. They will pay!

I shivered a bit. How is it colder inside? Hm… Oh, how silly. Professor Accord once told me the presences of ghosts will make the room colder. My eyelids tightened. I sighed in annoyance. I surge the ghost touching through my hands. I turned to surprise whatever ghost was behind me before I could. I lifted them both up.

It’s the ghost brats. Yu & Rei. Both seem a little off. “Huh, how are you touching us?” Yu whined.

“Because I am the epitome of marvelous.” I replied with the truth. I shook them a little, they screamed. Hm. What am I going to do with these two? They no longer have a body. Still, they gotta get kicked out. “Anything you got to say for yourselves before you’re legally considered busted?”

“Of what?” The meek boy asked.

“Of trespassing for one thing! Oh, what else?! Like causing mayhem IN MY HOME!”

“Soooooorryyyyy…” She whined again.

“Now in my pouch!”

**“BOO!”**

“EEEEE!” I jumped at the shock. Instinctively, I roundhouse kick the ghost behind me, but in the shock, I let those twins loose. I didn’t get a good luck at third one. I tried to recapture Yu and Rei. I stubbed my toe on the staircase. I needed a moment. Turned to the giggling ghost that jumped me. “Amitie. I raised my fist.”

“Hehehehe~ Hi Raffie~” She smiled like an idiot. She was transparent and lost her legs. She’s a ghost alright. I’d catch her on the spot but I need to walk off the pain. “Being a ghost is wicked!” She says like it’s a good thing. “I can do all sorts of neato things! You should try it!”

I just daggered deep in her eyes. I’m not gonna dignify that.

“Hey, why aren’t you a ghostie?” Again. Silence. “Y-You don’t wanna be a ghostie? Let’s play tag! And you wanna be dead like me!” Tag? Gag me… “Hey, no frowns, Miss Grumpy Pants! Let’s have fun forever. Tag you’r--”

“Hhhngh.”

“Haha! Missed me!” Amitie blew a raspberry and left, flying straight threw me out of the room. With them gone the room felt warmer.

“I hate my life…” I slammed my fist into my palm. “Better do something about it.” All of their bodies must still be in the ballroom. That’s roughly in the center. I shall go from go from room to room, searching by following their cold, cold aura, shove their souls in my pouch, put their bodies back whenever, and when it’s all done I’m blaming them and I have some peace and quiet.

I got this all figured out. Except what will I do with Yu & Rei. I’m sure Akuma can figure that out.

My toe was healed, I hurried up the stair. I almost was scared down it when Carbuncle walked through the wall, and of course, is following him. And they walked through something I told Daddy to build a door on for ease of access…

First things first. My room! I need to secure my room! I dashed to my room! “Oh no…” I whispered. I felt the ghostly cold through the door. “Hrrgh!” Slammed my door open. I the ghost’s confusion ran up and grabbed her. “Who gave you the right to put on my favorite night dress! Take it off!”

The dragon lady tried to struggle herself loose. “No way! It looks so pretty on me!”

“I’d agree if you still had legs!”

“Hee hee. Really think so? Wait. Are you trying to steal my thunder at the ghost beauty contest?”

“Don’t make me take it off.”

“Never! Raaaaawr!” She breathes fire. I let her loose.

“No fire! You could’ve burned the house down!”

“Eh, oopsie. Wanna fight? I hear you know how to.” She’s looking forward to this. “The winner keeps everything in the closet.”

“Hey, is that a bear in my closet?”

“Where?” I punched her in the back of the head. It knocked her out, it’s dishonourable. But I want this as over as fast as possible. Not that she could touch me in hand-to-hand anyway.

I undressed her and put her into my pouch. I signed in relief. Besides all the clothes and cosmetics lying over the floor, and my closet and drawers being raided… Hrngh. Nevermind, looking over this mess that’s unforgivable.

Oh, there’s my favorite outfit, Yellow, Orange, and some Purple. There’s the skirt. There’s my kneesock. Where’s the other?! I can’t go out without the ot-- ah there it is. This sleeveless nurse outfit will get too cold for me if this keeps up.

I quickly changed into something more comfortable, it’s certainly warmer for my arms at least. No ghost passed by doing so… On the hand, no easy catches. On the other hand… Not gonna live that down.

I’m going to the Daddy’s room next! Who knows what damage the ghosts have done? I barged through the door and I saw Ringo stuck in a mantra in a fetal position with Maguro trying to comfort him. I snatched his girlfriend into my pouch. “Hey, not cool, Raffine!”

“If you weren’t gonna take her, I was.” I looked around to see Daddy’s room is okay.

“I’m not properly equipped. As in I don’t have a pouch like you to cast magic. Where do I get one? ★”

“No time to talk, and don’t tell anyone. Search the house for the others and let me know where they are when you see me again.”

“Please put her back.” He pleaded.

“Whenever I feel like entering the ballroom. Ta~ta~” I ditched the handsome weirdo. I’m going straight to the library! I have a good idea who’s there. And I know exactly what to do. I quietly opened the door.

I opened my pouch softly kicked towards Klug’s ghost. He looked up from his book. 1. 2. 3. He turned his head at me with absolute terror on his face. “Raffin-- Gyack!” I grabbed him by the tail, jumped in the air, windmilled him mid-air. “WOWowoOWOWowOWOwoWOowoWOWWAAAAHPH!” And slam dunked him and his smug face into my pouch!!

I grew a big smile. I sensed no ghost, but I looked around to be sure. “BOOYAH!”! I pump my fist high of in the air. I got to do something I always wanted to do~ I did a few unladylike victory dances and gestures. If nothing else I got to hurt Klug and get away with it. I made sure to stop before anyone could catch me. Back to pleasure. Imeanbusiness! Both.

In the hallway, my legs felt cold. I’m wasting no time chasing after the twins. “Aaaaah! We just wanna play hide and seek!”

“And I’m not leaving you out of sight!” I must’ve chased through the hallway three times now. They slipped away in the ballroom. They got away. I slipped on my butt thanks to all that punch I sp-- KLUG spilled.

I stained my favorite outfit… Keep calm, Raffina. Keep calm. You should’ve known better, now please indulge yourself banishing them by demanding they go home.

I pulled some kind of spirit ball(?) out of my pouch. It had a face. As much as I’d love to play hacky sack with Klug’s soul… Duty calls. I pushed the right souls in the right bodies, they said they’re sorries and ‘I didn’t feel like me’ stories but I told them ‘nicely’ to leave. “It’s for your own safety.”

I saw a ghost on the ballroom balcony. Sig’s looking a bit blacker than usual but it was nothing I couldn’t bag, too distracted by the bug zapper. To be sure after catching Sig I looked over her our balcony into our garden. “Feli…” And her dog. I can’t hear her very well but it sounds like she’s in the middle of a summoning ritual.

If she’s gonna doom us all I’d prefer it if she does it in her own garden! But I’d rather she doesn’t do it at all! I quickly dumped off Sig’s souls and jumped off the balcony. My landing was elegant and hurt only a little. Her dog turned to me and hissed. I winked. He can’t touch me. But… can he fit in? He’s larger than me.

“~ǝǝǝǝǝǝǝʜǝǝʜǝǝH .ɿǝiƨɒǝ ƨǝɿmǝ⅃ ʞɔɒɿɈ nɒɔ I oƧ .noiɈɒɈɿoqǝlǝɈ ǝm ʜɔɒǝɈ miʜ Ɉǝ⅃ .ǝɿom on nǝɈɈoϱɿoʇ ǝd ͶOMƎꓷ nǝɈɈoϱɿoʇ nǝʜɈ Ɉǝl bnA”

From the summoning circle, a demon rose. “Hello there, cutie.” I walked up to the blue, featured shorty.

“Grok?” It made a bird noise.

“What do you want?” Feli glared. I giggled as I got close to the demon birdy.

“Groooo~ooooook…” I rubbed its head between its horn.

“Congratulating you on finally doing a good job. And of course, giving this guy a warm welcome.” I stood up. “Congratulations.” I said doing my best to sound proud. Their looks on their face say they didn’t buy it.

“Guh-- ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo…” I kicked the demon out of sight. And I opened up my pouch to suck up Feli before she could reach me. Her dog tried to rescue her, but he trapped himself.

I captured every one of Oshare’s Bones in the attic. I haven’t been there since I was six. Why the attic. I thought he hated being dusty as much as me.

I smell something. I going to the kitchen! On my way I encountered Lidelle. Seeming less spineless. “Hello, Raffina. Do you a good place I can haunt? Something with pets, maybe? I’m lost.”

“Don’t have pets.” I said opening my pouch.

“Oh, you don’t? No wonder you’re always so miserable.”

…

She’s captured. Onto the kitchen!

Ugh, the smell’s so sweet. The air must be 90% sugar. Has Lemres lost any more senses than before?

I caught him and threw away whatever he was baking, it could burn the house if left in the oven and you could die from the caramel in the cake.

“THE TREASURY!” I cover my mouth. Damn. I should’ve looked there first! I’m coming! They better not have touched it!! Or I’ll find a way to kill a ghost!

I opened the vault. “Hahhhh…” I sighed. The family portrait is left unscratched. And Daddy and Mommy’s belongings are okay too. I quickly closed it.

“Where now?” The staff room’s empty. No ghost in the pool. The bathrooms. The cellar! I haven’t looked there. I still have some roamers to deal with.

Speak of the devil and Arle’s pet shall appear! He’s fast but I did barely nick him by the ear. Into my pouch. Arle seems to have lost him or else I would’ve had her now…

Never mind. Found her on my way to the cellar. “The rabbit is safe in my pouch. And he misses you~” I opened it.

“Carby!” She jumped in. That way too easy. The only one easier would be Amitie.

“Snrrk.” I got one. “Amitie! I give up! You win!” She popped up from the floor.

“Yay~! So wanna be a ghost now?”

“Wanna have cake now? It’s in my pouch.” I swayed my hip in a way to put attention on my trap. “It’s your favorite. ❤”

“Oh, thanks, Raffie. B-But I can’t eat it…”

“It’s ghost cake~”

“GHOST CAKE!! HereIcome!”

…

“How dumb are you?” Is a legitimate question I have. That Amitie didn’t hear.

In the cellar, I found that witch. Mixing giggling as she mixed some bright liquids.

“Stop. Knowing your success rate you’ll blow up the house.”

“What do I care? Imma ghost, air breather.” She kept on pouring. “I’d be more worried about the little ghosties next door.”

“Thanks for the heads up.” Captured. I caught the mugs she was using too. Down the drain. So… I’ve captured everyone with a body. The ghost twins are in the boiler room! I barged it, I immediately started sweating it was so warm. They were playing like little kids would.

“Hey, yu found us!” Yu cheered and Rei threw confetti at me. I captured them. I looked at the boiler. What have they done to the make boiler so hot!? IT’LL BLOW UP IF DON’T DO SOMETHING. B-b-but… What?

S***. I dropped on my knees. Spend the night catching the dead. And now I’m gonna die… I hate you all.

Oh, there’s the valve! I can turn it off! _“AAAAIIYEEEEE!!!”_ I burned my hand.

“Daddy! I’m sorry… You deserved a better daughter.” It got warmer. “Owowowowow! How many degrees of burn even is this!?” I subconsciously coursed the magic Akuma gifted me through my burned hand. The pain is gone? This magic makes me part ghost! I should’ve put that together earlier.

I turned my hands ghost, and with all my strength. It’ll be cold in the house for a while, but it’s better than being homeless. Anything is better than being homeless.

I took a cold, cold, bath. To clean myself from the sweat, put some fresher clothes, re-did my running makeup, brushed my teeth, combed my hair. Told Maguro to follow me to the ballroom. Put them back into their body, shamed them out of my house. Locked the front gate. And left the ghost twins in the pouch, I’ll hand them over to Akuma later.

I let out a huge yawn as I headed for bed. “Daddy will come home in an hour. I hope he understands…”

He believed me. ~And he’s proud of me like usual~

Akuma took back the magic. I don’t need it anymore, so he can have it.

And what’s better the next school day everyone who I captured celebrated my actions.

“You’re awesome!”  
“You saved me!”  
“Neverwannabeaghostagainneverwannabeaghostagainneverwannabeaghos--”  
“Breathe Ringo, you’ve had your body back for days. ★”  
“Th-th-thank you, I feel like myself again.”  
“Guuu!”  
“You said it.”  
“I baked a cake.”  
“You’re my hero, Raffie!”

“Oh, La-Ti-Da~ Thanks, everyone, it was the least I can do.” Whatever I did was so special. I saved my house, that’s all. I soaked up the attention anyway. I love parties like this.

"AAATCHOOO!!" I caught a cold thanks to all of this too thanks to the cold…

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote Raffine as I saw her in PPF2 and PP15th. Before she was watered down. A self-centered jerk that cares little for everyone around. Unless it benefits herself or shares her interests. I needed to write a protagonist like this. Not everyone needs to be likable.
> 
> It’s obvious by which game I’m inspired by. But there is one more less obvious one. Guess which one.
> 
> So happy Halloween. I’m celebrating by Playing Luigi’s Mansion on Mirror mode for the first time in a decade I’m sure. I promise Sis I would last year.
> 
> Edit: I played it earlier than expected. Slurping the Ghosts up in Hidden Mansion feels like this fic.


End file.
